Save yourself the cover price, folks. Behold:
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Cosmopolitan's Sex Life
Cosmo is a magazine determined to teach us all how to have sex, while simultaneously keeping us all insecure enough to come back time and again for more Top Tips! In my attempts to 'know the enemy' and simultaneously amuse myself at the vacuity of this magazine, I visited their website and took a quiz. Now, no matter how many times I've seen covers emblazoned with lines like "The 25 hottest sex positions that every man wants" and "WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU DOING THIS, ARE YOU FRIGID?", it seems there are only three positions in the world now.
Save yourself the cover price, folks. Behold:
Save yourself the cover price, folks. Behold:
The Trouble With Boys
Ever had one of those days where you feel the opinions of the world are conspiring against you? Of course you have. It appears that I'm having one of those today, and I know exactly why.
Though I truly enjoy intelligent discourse with young men and women who care to mull over everything from politics to hairstyles, sometimes my willingness to be respectful of dissenting opinions falls by the wayside, causing my gut reactions and outright exasperation to rule my reactions. The latest example? Discussions about men.
Yes, Men. Those XY beings who I am supposedly required to see, at once, as my prospective lovers, my oppressors, and my intellectual subordinates. Hardly three definitions which sit healthily together under one umbrella. While I'm urged, and all society are urged, to see women as differing, beautifully varied and deserving of every ounce of respect, Men are being lumped together as The Problem.
What bothers me the most about this opinion is that men are not, in fact, a singular grouping of beings beyond that of their shared chromosomes. They do not breathe in unison, spewing bilious judgements upon women between swigs of warm beer and racist jokes.
When we speak of sexism, we always go to the notion of a man oppressing a woman. While this might statistically and historically be the more evident manifestation of sexism, it is by no means the only one. When I hear men described as misogynists, as stupid or as hopeless oafs, that is sexism. My father is a man, as is my brother and my boyfriend. Telling me that they are 'the exception' does not justify your snap judgements of them, rather it points out your own hypocrisy. For every woman feeling (rightfully) infuriated with a patriarchal and confining definition of women, there is another exacerbating the problem in the opposite direction. Giving as good as you get might seem like petty fun, but it singlehandedly cancels out each time that you've railed against patriarchal constructs.
I've heard it said that it's acceptable to treat men with less respect because of patriarchal priviledge. Such a statement is so loaded with anger that it's hard for me to address in my youthful state of independence (gifted to me by feminists throughout time). Yes, I owe much of my life to women's redressing of a patriarchal society, there is no doubt about that. But I do not believe that I can further deconstruct the remnants of patriarchy by pettiness. There will always be people that are determined to be disagreeable, but they are people. Not just men, not just women - people. As for those who are willing to learn, grow, converse? Regardless of their sex or gender, I am in no place to deny men their right to be seen as individuals, just as they shouldn't deny mine.
Though I truly enjoy intelligent discourse with young men and women who care to mull over everything from politics to hairstyles, sometimes my willingness to be respectful of dissenting opinions falls by the wayside, causing my gut reactions and outright exasperation to rule my reactions. The latest example? Discussions about men.
Yes, Men. Those XY beings who I am supposedly required to see, at once, as my prospective lovers, my oppressors, and my intellectual subordinates. Hardly three definitions which sit healthily together under one umbrella. While I'm urged, and all society are urged, to see women as differing, beautifully varied and deserving of every ounce of respect, Men are being lumped together as The Problem.
What bothers me the most about this opinion is that men are not, in fact, a singular grouping of beings beyond that of their shared chromosomes. They do not breathe in unison, spewing bilious judgements upon women between swigs of warm beer and racist jokes.
When we speak of sexism, we always go to the notion of a man oppressing a woman. While this might statistically and historically be the more evident manifestation of sexism, it is by no means the only one. When I hear men described as misogynists, as stupid or as hopeless oafs, that is sexism. My father is a man, as is my brother and my boyfriend. Telling me that they are 'the exception' does not justify your snap judgements of them, rather it points out your own hypocrisy. For every woman feeling (rightfully) infuriated with a patriarchal and confining definition of women, there is another exacerbating the problem in the opposite direction. Giving as good as you get might seem like petty fun, but it singlehandedly cancels out each time that you've railed against patriarchal constructs.
I've heard it said that it's acceptable to treat men with less respect because of patriarchal priviledge. Such a statement is so loaded with anger that it's hard for me to address in my youthful state of independence (gifted to me by feminists throughout time). Yes, I owe much of my life to women's redressing of a patriarchal society, there is no doubt about that. But I do not believe that I can further deconstruct the remnants of patriarchy by pettiness. There will always be people that are determined to be disagreeable, but they are people. Not just men, not just women - people. As for those who are willing to learn, grow, converse? Regardless of their sex or gender, I am in no place to deny men their right to be seen as individuals, just as they shouldn't deny mine.
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